Every time I read through my past 12 blog posts about Cora, I cry. Like a Really Ugly Cry. Why? Well I've figured out over the years that when I feel my Heavenly Fathers love for me, I manifest it in tears. My heart swells, my spirit lifts, and I cry.
I cry when I think of how scared we were to learn of her scoliosis. I cry when I remember how worried I was about surgery costs. I cry when I recall sitting on Coras floor with Steve and my arms wrapped around her, allowing her to sob her heart out at the news she needed life changing surgery. I cry when I remember the HORRIBLE drive home from the hospital, avoiding every pothole I could see and praying with all my heart not to get in an accident. I cry remembering all the friends and family who called, visited and sent presents and love. I cry every time I look at pictures from those few weeks of recovery, remembering how difficult it was and how we just fought through every day. But mostly, I cry when I think of the week-long hospital stay. Not because it was terrible...it actually is a beautiful memory. Cora and I have had discussions on this very subject. She has described her hospital stay as "safe, quiet, protected". Why is the time we look back so fondly on also the time when life was so difficult, when we were away from our home, when Cora was in so much pain and anguish?? Why in the world when were surrounded by beeping machines, tubes and medicine did we feel so calm and peaceful?? Why did we both sleep like a rock?? Why when my daughter was just starting the beginnings of the hardest journey in her life thus far were we so full of love and prayer?? Why for days after being sent home from the hospital did we both wish and wish we could go back to that special place?? God. He was there. We know it. We felt it. We saw it everyday. You know that old Footprints poem? About one set of prints during the toughest times of our lives? It's true. He carries us. He hold us close. And he sends others in our lives to make the hard times more bearable. During those 6 long, dark, quiet days and nights in the hospital Cora and I saw God. Not with our eyes, but with our souls. During the weeks leading up to surgery, the stay in the hospital and the recovery afterwards, He was there. He strengthened my mother as she helped run my household and family. He comforted Steve when he wanted to be at the hospital with Cora but had to go to work instead. He prompted my other 4 children to have increased love and patience for Cora and her needs. He lovingly led me every day when I was so scared and tired and had no support from hospital staff of how to take care of my healing child. And He especially carried my Cora through the nervousness, the pain, the loneliness, the frustration and the sorrow of such a major surgery. I promise you, He loves us. He knows us. He will care for us. He is there. Allow Him to carry you, too.
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AuthorMy name is Kirsty. I am the mom of an amazingly courageous daugher with scoliosis. This is our story. Archives
June 2019
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